So let the music play on

I didn't think I'd ever be able to listen to music again.

Through my whole life, music was always a part of everything I did. I listened to music all the time. I played musical instruments and I sang in choirs. I also had a verse for many situations I ran into in life, to the amusement of my partner. I listened to music in the car, in the house, on the go. Everywhere. And I sang, all the time.

When I hit my head, the music died. I couldn't stand the noise, the multitude of different sounds coming at me all at once, the shear volume of it. Certain instruments and voices became worse than others. Anything with a strong bass line, or drums, for example was really painful. Brass instruments like trumpets and trombones hurt too. It has to do with the way they are played. In order to make the sounds, the musician has to force air through with an almighty blow, so the sound comes out sharp and loud.

For the past four and a half years, I have lived without music. The soundtrack of my life has been silent.

But something changed recently. One week ago, I got hearing aids. Let me tell you something about hearing aids. If you don't have them, or a new generation of them, then you haven't seen the wonders they can do. They are amazing! They can tune out background noise, focus on speech, focus on a narrow space in front of you, prioritize comfort, and so much more. This goes beyond giving me back my hearing. My audiologist was right, in the last week my auditory processing disorder has been managed so much better day by day. My brain is relearning how to live with the world around me, thanks to my hearing aids.

Want to know the best part? I listened to music again. Two hours of it! Only two days after getting my hearing aids, I went to an event with music on the weekend. I sat behind the speakers, not in front. So the sound wasn't blasting at me. At the end of the evening, I was tired, ready for bed. My brain was exhausted from processing so much information. But I had done it. I haven't pushed myself like that again yet. Work takes a lot out of me, too much to try it during the week. I feel hopeful though, that music will be back in my life again. Little by little.

All the information says there's no cure for Auditory Processing Disorder. But with the right tools, there's a way to live with it. And that's enough. So let the music play on.