You're Not Typical: A PCS journey through neurodiversity

I'm learning to live in the here and now.  But the there and then keeps calling me up for a chat. "Hey! Do you remember when-...." "Hey! I got this nasty feeling!" "Hey! Wanna compare notes?" The wish and wonder likes to drop in too.  "Do you ever think about..." "Wouldn't it be great if...." "What will it be like when...." Here and now is difficult. It requires paying attention to what is actually happening to me, around me, and inside of me. It's like watching a mystery for the first time but the movie doesn't actually end because it's your life. Every time you think something makes sense and you have reached the happy ever after, it keeps going with a new twist. I've decided to just roll with it though. I'm old enough now that I know I can handle whaever is coming. Living through trauma, disability, and loss (and all at the same time) shifts the dynamics of life. I used to panic about getting eve...

 I've been sick for several days now with bronchitis. This is not unusual for me, especially since Covid-19. Since I had Covid-19, I can get bronchitis at the drop of a hat. So I have been at home, in pyjamas, taking naps and watching television. The last time I wore my hearing aids was three days ago when I went into the office for three hours because I had to do some important work before I returned back home to bed. Without hearing aids, life has reverted back to how it was before, when I had to strain more to understand what was being said, and when I heard some really strange things. It has become an interesting experiment, seeing what life is like with and without the hearing aids. I can tell you now, I miss a lot when I am not wearing them. But life is also quieter. When I am wearing the hearing aids, my brain is working more, harder, taking in more information. Sometimes, I just need a break. My audiologist told me that's okay. She told me to take them off when I'm ...

I didn't think I'd ever be able to listen to music again. Through my whole life, music was always a part of everything I did. I listened to music all the time. I played musical instruments and I sang in choirs. I also had a verse for many situations I ran into in life, to the amusement of my partner. I listened to music in the car, in the house, on the go. Everywhere. And I sang, all the time. When I hit my head, the music died. I couldn't stand the noise, the multitude of different sounds coming at me all at once, the shear volume of it. Certain instruments and voices became worse than others. Anything with a strong bass line, or drums, for example was really painful. Brass instruments like trumpets and trombones hurt too. It has to do with the way they are played. In order to make the sounds, the musician has to force air through with an almighty blow, so the sound comes out sharp and loud. For the past four and a half years, I have lived without music. The soundtrack of ...

 Did you know there are different types of migraines? I didn't. I didn't even understand what a migraine was. I thought it was just a really bad headache. I actually didn't even understand how bad a headache could get until my accident. I thought they were just those aches I got sometimes that went away with a regular painkiller.  I started with tension-type headaches after my injury and I still get them all the time. But the migraines are a different story. I don't actually know what type of migraine I get. I won't know until I see a specialist and that takes time. But I've been doing my research. A migraine is very different from any other headache. It is a body experience. Most migraines happen in the head, but there are even migraines that happen in the abdomen. These are more common in children. Ever met a child who complains of chronic stomachache? It might be abdominal migraine. Like I said though, mostly they happen in the head. But there are symptoms th...

The summer Olympics are happening right now. In the women's European football quarterfinals march between Colombia and Spain, the Colombian goal keeper, Katherine Tapia, got a bad hit to the head. The match had to stop for three minutes while the medical team assessed her for injuries to her face, bones and brain. In the end, they cleared her to keep playing. I was certain she had suffered a concussion. It was not the first time I watched a collision in a match and thought the player should have left the field. While sports are at the cutting edge of medical knowledge and techniques for all kinds of injuries, the reason for this is because of the extremes athletes will go to, and are pushed to. Do you know the difference between American football and rugby? Safety gear. And still the athletes playing American football end up with countless injuries, including brain injuries. I understand we need sports. I understand we can't and shouldn't be bubble-wrapped when we play. But...

 Trying to remember to pace yourself is difficult. It's easy to use all the spoons right away, and then some. It's even more of a challenge when planning ahead. Think about the weekend. What do you want to do? Maybe you have an adventure planned. Maybe you have something social, or a family event. Maybe a quiet getaway. Whatever it is, it took time to arrange the details and decide what is involved. Maybe someone else did the planning and you only had to say yes, which by the way is still planning. However it comes, it will take some sort of organization. How much work was involved in the planning, may I ask? Did you have to make any calls? Reservations? Plan meals? Pack clothes? In case you haven't already guessed, the point of this line of questioning is that everything takes energy. If you remember the spoon story, you might remember you are far more likely to have the spoons available to do this extra work than I am. When I want to do something that takes planning, I ha...