Becoming neurodivergent

 I'm not sure I really understand neurodivergence even now. But I can tell you acquiring it is very different from having it from birth. People who grow up neurodivergent, just ARE. That is how they see the world. It is complete. The picture isn't missing anything. They haven't lost anything, they haven't missed anything, and they don't know they are different. Even once it has been explained to a neurodivergent person that they are indeed looking at the world differently, they will tell you it looks fine to them. Because it does, and it is.

But if, like me, you actually became neurodivergent through some event, you know the difference. You have in fact lost something. I am not telling you that I am in on a secret, that I know what they do not. Let me assure you, I am speaking of something quite separate. Those of us who have acquired neurodivergence are in a different group altogether. We had a picture that looked a certain way. We know what it is supposed to look like. What makes us different is that since the change, we can't make the picture look the same anymore. It's as if someone took some part of it away. The type of neurodivergence we have tends to be disabling because we have lost something and we don't know how to function without it.

I wouldn't mind so much, being neurodivergent, if I simply was. But everyone around me knows what I used to be able to do and they still expect it of me. Every day, I have to be reminded of the change again when I don't live up to the expectations of the people around me. So the pain never goes away.

Because I had a concussion, and most people recover from concussion, even now my family and friends expect me to "recover" and get "back to normal." When do we start living the new normal?

Location: Canada

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